15 Weeks

It is amazing to me to think back on these last 4 months and to see all that has happened, both good and bad. I am amazed that I have made it this far. Surviving this ordeal is something that I truly didn't think would happen. But now, I've got to move beyond surviving. I need to move onto living, which is the hardest thing to do since my whole life has changed. Everyday I am faced with the realization of what I can't do. I know, you're thinking "don't be a pessimist", but that is much easier said than done. Because some days I can stand for a few minutes on my right leg and get something out of the cupboard and other days I can barely take myself to the bathroom. There is a dichotomy between what I want to do and what my body CAN do. Don't get me wrong, I push myself (more than I should, just ask Tim), but there are truly things that I can't do. Let me give you a glimpse into my life...

I can't cook by myself. Not because I don't know how to cook, but because I don't have the attention span to be able to sit there and complete it. I tried to make eggs for myself a few weeks ago (when I was home alone) and while I was cooking, I left the room. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that! But apparently, there was. My dog, Lassie, came into the room where I was at to alert me that I was in danger of burning the house down. Thank God for her! I felt like such a doofus. I mean, I like to cook, but now, I'm restricted to doing it only when Tim is home.

If it weren't for Tim, I truly don't think that I would be able to survive...there are only so many things that I can't really "hurt" in the microwave.